Aiden is still adorable. The last couple of weeks have been great, I love him so much and he is constantly really really cute, but they've also been really hard.
If you don't want to read about a couple breastfeeding issues and baby's ear infection, skip the next paragraph.
I guess I never really got a good latch for breastfeeding and so was dealing with cracking and bleeding and pain, and then last week, after several days of him being really congested, he got really fussy one night and stopped eating on one side, so I took him to the pediatrician. Poor baby has an ear infection. A week old, and he got his first ear infection. So we started him on some antibiotics, and I stuck to feeding him on the other side, but that made the whole pain and bleeding thing much, much worse. And the other side was getting pretty engorged, which is also really, really uncomfortable. So Saturday I went and got a little hand-pump, and started using it, and we tried cup-feeding him once, but it didn't really work, so I gave in and he's been eating from a bottle for the past several days while I wait for me to heal up and for him to get over his ear infection. The guilt of giving him a bottle is really hard to deal with, even though it was really the best option for him still eating for the last several days. I'm planning on going to see a lactation consultant once the scabs have gone away, and hopefully he'll be able to transition back to the breast without too many difficulties. Pumping is a pain with the handpump, I think the breastshield it came with is the wrong size so it gets pretty uncomfortable pretty quickly. Lanolin is fabulous, but it gunks up the pump and makes it hard to clean, so I haven't been using it much.
I feel so bad for him, he's still horribly congested and has a hard time breathing a lot of the time. He's doing better yesterday and today, but he still wants to be held most of the time, which I'm inclined to do, because it obviously helps him feel better. I really wish I could make his stuffy nose go away somehow and make him feel all better. I guess that's part of being a parent.
The lack of sleep is also really hard. It's getting a little better, I'm getting maybe six hours of sleep a night now, rather than three or four. I spend most of the day every day in somewhat of a zombie mode. We've been watching a lot of the Discovery Channel, and I've spent lots of time just staring at baby guy. I need to come up with a nick for him. One of these days soon I will have to take pictures of all his different facial expressions he makes during the day. I love his little smiles, even if they are just from gas, and I can't get over how cute he is when his eyes are open and he's staring at me. He's pretty strong and wiggly and sometimes manages to roll over completely onto his side. He eats every couple of hours, and has been packing the weight back on. He's got a pediatrician's appointment tomorrow so we'll see if he weighs more than his birth weight (I'm betting he does, he was an ounce short when I took him in for the ear infection).
We took him in for a renal ultrasound yesterday. Hopefully we'll find out the results from that soon.
I'm recovering pretty well, other than being constantly tired. :) Today I managed to unpack all my clothes (finally) and finish unpacking the bathroom, and take care of baby guy by myself all day (first day pumping with Dusey gone at work), and pick up the family room, and wash all the bottles and the pump, and make dinner, and research mei tais because I want to get one to carry him around in. Our bedroom is almost all put away and organized now, and the garage needs some rearranging but is pretty close to done. The living room needs to be arranged and the other two bedrooms are still full of boxes that need to be unpacked and organized, and we need to paint almost everything still. But we're making good progress and our house feels more and more like home every day (I can get dressed now without searching through suitcases!).
Dusey has been an awesome daddy so far. He's been really great about helping feed Aiden and change his diapers and put him back to sleep at night so I can pump the next bottle. And he's been spending time almost every day putting a few things away, and exercising, and making food for us to eat, and getting me whatever medicine (for me or baby) I'm in need of at any given moment, and still working full-time too. I love it whenever it is time for his days off each week. He's been dealing well with all my little baby blues emotional breakdowns too every couple of days.
I love my family.
I'll respond to all your lovely comments soon, I promise.