Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Things that have gone wrong lately

The bulb in our projector exploded. New bulbs are too expensive and all out of stock anyway.

My DH's phone stopped working. The only key that works currently is the one that turns it on and off.

Our laptop has been acting wonky and needs to be backed up so we can reinstall the OS.

Our air-conditioner unit stopped working. It got low on Freon and a hose may or may not have burst. We'll find out what's up with that today, hopefully.

I had a horrific headache all day yesterday. I was worried that it might be because of the huge amount of Ibuprofen I'd taken the day before (as per the doctor's instructions). I tried taking some of the Tylenol to help it go away, but it didn't really work. So, I didn't do anything yesterday really.

I am a bit paranoid now about what's next. Will our cars break down? Will our refrigerator stop working? Will our house burn down? What would I need to be sure to grab if our house was burning? Will one of us get horribly ill while we're still unemployed? IN GREENLAND? Inconceivable.

Monday, July 23, 2007

New crafty blog and the Great Bloggy Giveaway!

I started a new blog in which to discuss, show off, and get comments on my crafts (and possibly generate some traffic for my Etsy store which is not yet up, but will be as soon as I have something made to sell in it). You should go check it out.

Not enough incentive? Okay. I'll give you more. I am giving away a pink fleece zombie cat hat that I made tonight, and all you have to do in order to be entered in the drawing for it is post a comment (with a valid email address) on the Great Bloggy Giveaway post in my craft blog.

All that's left that you could possibly need (besides a valid email address) is a link. That link there is to the specific post on which you know you want to comment to receive the quirky hat I made. If you just want to check out my craft blog in general (not that there's anything else to see there yet), go to http://kadusey.blogspot.com.

*sigh*

It was going to be a GREAT day today. I had a lovely plan for the day: wake up, take my temperature, brush my teeth, weigh myself, use the internet for an hour, shower, eat, use the internet for a little longer, and then, then my friends, then I was going to make a shopping list, go grocery shopping for foodstuffs and stuff for green-cleaning which I'm going to be trying out (it's cheaper than the harsh chemicals, and I don't mind the smells of vinegar and baking soda as much as the smell of bleach), I was going to come home, put it all away, clean for an hour, work on crafts for a couple hours, exercise, play a game with Mike, make dinner, eat, and then pick something fun to entertain myself with for the evening. I got to the post-breakfast internet-usage part when it happened.

I'm sure you're dying of curiosity as to what "it" is now. It's really not all that exciting. My darling husband was off taking photos to increase his knowledge of how to take photos, so I was just sitting in my computer chair, entering a bunch of blog contest things, when I got really hot. Along with getting really hot, I got really bad cramps. Sometimes I get pretty bad cramps. Usually I can just go use the restroom, then take some pills, and I am okay. This is what happened yesterday (I watched Totoro, and took a hot bath, too, both of which helped yesterday). Today, today was something else entirely. I barely made it up the stairs. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I thought, "well, maybe it won't last too long and I'll just lie down for a minute" and tried out the couch. Hmmm, no. Heaving sobs, hot and cold, nausea anytime I even thought about taking painkillers, and the only response I could muster to the pain was to sit on the floor with my knees up to my chin and wait until I could breathe enough again to call Mike. I'm sure I sounded horrific on the phone, he came home immediately, gave me a blessing, and then managed to drive me over to the Urgent Care place while I spent the whole time sobbing.

So, the nurse took my temperature, checked my pulse and my blood pressure, gave me some tissues to use, asked me various questions, led me to a different room to wait for the doctor. The doctor asked me pretty much the same questions, listened to me breathe, and poked my belly, sides, and back. He went out, the nurse came back in, and I got a lovely painkiller shot in my bum which now sports a hot pink bandaid (styling!). Then I got to sit there with Mike for half an hour while we waited to see if the drugs would work, the doctor came back in, made sure the edge of the pain at least was gone, gave me two prescriptions for painkillers (Midol or Motrin or something and Tylenol with Cortisone), told me to buy a hotpack, and go home and rest. His diagnosis? Just really bad cramps. I'm a little suspicious, and may go see an OBGYN or an RN or somebody to get checked out a little more thoroughly just to make sure everything's okay. The end result though was that I pretty much got wiped out for the whole day and am supposed to sit around and take it easy yet keep myself occupied for the rest of the evening (my solution? movies).

Maybe tomorrow I'll be back up to snuff and can go do all those things I was going to do today (though I maybe won't attempt to clean so much as I wanted to do today). If nothing else, it provides me with a really good excuse for sitting around eating candy and saltines and drinking juice and not doing anything. I felt bad for Mike, he was really worried about me. He's done a great job at taking care of me all day. I will have to find something nice to do for him tomorrow.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Yay!

My DH (short for any of the following: dearest, darling, dear, etc, husband) is finally going to be (hopefully) regularly updating his blog. I am giving him linkage as more people reading his blog may well encourage him to update frequently. Plus, I think he's cute, and when my very cute husband asks me, so sweetly, to link to his blog, when he's finally going to be blogging, which I've been wanting him to do for *ages*, I have Absolutely No Qualms in doing so.

Bestest movie ever

Then you'll be with To-to-ro, totoro
To-to-ro, totoro...
A magical adventure for you!

Watched it again this morning. Loved it as always. I should put the music from it onto my iPod and listen to it while I clean (maybe it would be more motivating than what I've got on there now).

Thursday, July 19, 2007

How's the weather?

Not a very interesting update last time, eh? Let's see if I can think of something new to write about. Hmmm...depression, check. Babies? Covered that already. Friends...discussed. Family...nothing new. Work doesn't exist right now. Our house isn't all that interesting. What about the weather? Well, okay, there's been some weather lately. Besides being incredibly hot all the time, we have also had some other weather lately. There was a thunder and lightning storm, with a brief sprinkling of rain, a few nights ago. I curled up on the couch, with all the lights off in the house, and watched the sky light up. I went outside and got rained on. I fell asleep hoping to fall asleep to the booms of thunder, but no such luck. :)

Last night, there was a dusty blustery wind that blew through. Not quite enough dust to constitute a dust storm, I don't think, but it was pretty dusty, enough so that I got dust in my eye under my contact. Luckily, Mike's trusty eyedrops that are currently residing in my purse came to my rescue (don't tell Mike I stole his eyedrops! It's a secret!)

I went swimming yesterday in a pool that was 92 degrees. It felt quite nice compared to the air. One fun thing about going swimming when it's this hot out is that I was able to just go stand in the sun for a couple minutes afterward and dried almost completely off (my hair got nice and dry after just one quick towel rub, and it even looked okay, despite not having a blowdrier or a brush with me, so yay for really hot outside air that acts like a blowdrier without the blowing).

I *think* I have conquered the spider mites that were trying to kill my pepper plant in my garden. Now I just have to worry about the actual spiders living in the tomato plants. ;) Somebody asked the question the other day as to whether everyone in the room was more scared of spiders or snakes. Everybody else said snakes. I said spiders. Snakes are not creepy. They are slithery and scaley and kind of cool and usually not horribly dangerous. Spiders are freaky. Some of them jump. The ones that don't jump can drop down on a thread from the ceiling onto me. They scurry in unexpected directions. They like to hide. Little baby ones can float all around everywhere and creep me out. Spiders could be crawling in my mouth while I'm sleeping without me knowing it. Multi-colored ones with bright, bright colored bits are creepy. The ones with long very obviously jointed legs are creepy. The ones with really thin long curved legs are creepy. Fat ones with short little legs are creepy. Translucent ones are really creepy. Especially smooth ones are creepy. Really hairy ones are even more creepy. Small ones are creepy. Big ones are more creepy. I never know which spiders are poisonous, which ones can jump, which ones just scurry and scuttle and scare me with their general unpredictableness as they run about. Snakes have nothing on spiders. Lots of people keep a variety of snakes as pets. Only a few people keep tarantulas as pets, and tarantulas are only one kind of spider (and they're creepy too).

So, not only did you get me discussing the local weather, but you also got an anti-spider tirade! Oh, lucky, lucky readers. :P

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

We're coming to Utah! (last paragraph)

I am depressed. Again/still/whatever. I am starting to think that I should perhaps just maybe look into going back on some medication for it. Just starting to think about it, haven't made any firm decisions yet. I haven't ever tried a therapist, it's possible I should try one, but I do not think our current insurance would cover it at all, and we certainly don't have the funds for me to just pop into some therapists office just because it might work. I am going to wait a few more weeks and see how I do emotionally, and if I'm still consistantly feeling like crying for a short while on an almost daily basis, then I guess I'd better go to the doctors and see about what to do about it this time around. Part of it is indubitably because I am not getting any sunshine because, well, it's just completely too hot to go outside. A one minute walk from the house to the car, or the car to the store, makes me feel physically ill, it is so hot. No sunshine makes for a somewhat sad Kirsa. Part of it is indubitably stress-related. There's a lot of stuff I've been worrying about lately, and having lots of stuff that I'm worried about tends to make me think not-so-great thoughts about myself and my abilities and capabilities in ways that I probably oughtn't. Maybe it's just been a bad couple of weeks.

I had a fun time yesterday and today, going shopping with my mother-in-law. Yesterday, we went to Savers (a thrift store), where I got a couple very cheap swimsuits, and she bought me some old pillowcases and a shower curtain, all of which I am cutting up and re-sewing into adorable tops (tunic jumper things to wear over a t-shirt and jeans). I am making up patterns, and just started on the first one, and it has a few problems, but I think it will still turn out cute. I fell in love today with french-felled seams, they are fabulous and I will be using them a lot more from now on. I have yet to figure out how to hem stretch-knits without stretching them so that the hem ends up longer than the rest of the fabric panel. Today, we went to the KneeShorts store here in Mesa (I know there's several of these in Utah, I'd never been to one before but I often saw their ads around up there, and saw two of the stores I think). Mike came along, too. She got us each a pair of board shorts that we can wear as normal shorts or for swimming, which should be perfect for any hikes we may do in Kauai that end at a waterfall to be swum in. Then we went over to Walmart, and she got me two pairs of cute capris and a t-shirt. Capris or shorts are a necessity here, and can be worn all year round. Previously, I had one pair of cute (though white, so couldn't wear them very often due to worry about staining them on dirty seats or whatever) capris, and two ugly pairs of capris that I almost never wear. Now I have three pairs of capris and a pair of shorts. I am excited that I no longer have to wear pants all the time.

So, shopping was fun. And making my shirt things is fun. And I got a Cosco card today from Mike's parents, and am really looking forward to being able to do some cheap bulk shopping. And we went out to dinner with Mike's parents, and watched a movie at their house with them tonight, and that was pretty fun too. Except I really really didn't like the movie (Premonition). The style felt like that of a horror movie to me, and it creeped me out the whole movie. I kept expecting gross things like from The Ring or Sixth Sense to pop up or around corners or behind shower curtains. Just because nothing really did, did not make it any less creepy. I don't like creepy movies. Geh. But the rest of the day was fun.

This is one of the dilemmas of depression. There are days that are mostly fine. Then there's a short moment, maybe an hour or two during the day, when I am inexplicably depressed. This makes me second-guess myself about whether this is really depression again, or just some little bad bits. But it's been happening often enough lately that I really am starting to suspect that I really truly am depressed again.

On a completely different note, I need to get my oldest sister to teach me how to make cakes. She makes freaking amazing cakes. Seriously. She made a cake for her son's ninth birthday, where he and his friends watched The Princess Bride. So, for the cake, she made the boat that Wesley follows Buttercup and her captors in. Fully 3-D, standing up, mast and sail and all, with the outer hull looking amazingly like wood planks, with veins and knots and nail holes. And, at the wheel was none other than the Dread Pirate Roberts himself, made out of (I think) chocolate of various colors. Seriously awesome. If somehow we get loads of money before next spring, she's promised me that if I go visit her for my birthday, she'll make me an awesome cake, too. Maybe she can teach me how to do it as she makes it. That'd be awesome. (That's assuming that I'll find a way to get out to New York in May, which is actually really dubious).

One last note, Mike and I will be in Utah from August 21st to the 24th (most likely, this is not completely set in stone yet). We will be available for hanging out probably easiest on the 23rd or 24th if advance plans are made (I want to spend most of my time hanging out with my family, but I would like to hang out with other people for an evening). If it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen, but if you'd like to, I think it'd be fun to hang out. If nothing else, I'm really excited about visiting my family (and seeing my oldest sister and her family for the day that we'll be overlapping visiting there).

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

More about our trip, ending with frustrations which you can skip reading.

I have been feeling a lot of things lately that I have not been writing about. Part of me likes to think, it's none of your business. Part of me thinks that nobody wants to read about emo-me. Part of me wonders if it's really okay to write about some of the stuff I'd like to, or if it's too private and shouldn't be shared, open to anyone to read, on the internet. Part of me is convinced that if I don't publicly share some of these feelings, that I'll be able to stuff them away and forget about them after dealing with them by myself. Part of me is just scared of what will happen if I do write about it when I'm depressed or angsty, if it will trigger another downward spiral, if it will make people worry too much about me when I'm mostly fine, if it will simply make me think too much. But part of me finds it incredibly cathartic to write about very personal things in public, or at least, to my friends. And part of me is lonely and wants very much for other people, even semi-strangers, to know what's going on in my life, all the little bits of it, because if you know me and know what I'm up to and how I'm feeling and my problems and joys and everything, and still come back to read despite it all, then you must be a friend, or at least somebody who, like me, is rather interested by others' personal revelations.

I still haven't made up my mind whether or not to write about the jumble and mix of thoughts and feelings that's been plaguing me most mornings lately.

In the meantime, until I decide, I will share a few more details about our trip, if I can remember them. Acorn-versions.

We went to AX, I cosplayed, the first pair of shoes I wore gave me horrible blisters that still haven't healed all the way. I also got burned the first day on my arms, while I was wearing Sakura's elbow covers, resulting in very funny tan lines now. I got a blue Totoro hoodie that I absolutely positively love in every way, a kodama t-shirt that is very cute, and two tiny Totoro plush keychains (one white Totoro and one gray Totoro) which I also adore because of their incredible cuteness. I also acquired a Chinese parasol and a paper fan. I'm very satisified with all my purchases.

We went northward a bit from LongBeach and arrived in Alta Loma. It's a beautiful area, and I would not mind living somewhere amid those mountainous hills and trees, not really very far from the beach. I did not know that magnolias had such incredibly big flowers.

We went to Raging Waters. I felt kind of sick the whole day so didn't ride most of the slides. Went on a couple, had the most fun playing in the kiddie water-fort area, dumping buckets of water on unsuspecting passerby below and climbing through rope tunnels and getting water dumped on me as well. Best. Playground. Ever. Avoided sunburn.

Spent the fourth doing mostly nothing, traveled back down to Anaheim. Had my husband cut my hair to a cute chin length (not a bob though), after having announced our hair cutting intentions to my in-laws and hearing a proclamation of how my hair was so cute long and I shouldn't cut it, made me very incredibly satisfied when the cutting did in fact occur to a short and cute length (took me a bit to get used to it though, the cut's no good unless I style it a bit). Watched the Disneyland fireworks from the top of the RV.

Went to Huntington Beach, which I shall forever love. Overcast in the morning so a bit cool all day, but the water was nice. Went and bobbed over/dove under the waves for awhile. Built a sandcastle with Mike (complete with good wave breaking walls to combat the incoming tide), got my knees and the backs of my hands rather sunburned (the sand rubbed off my sunscreen I think), ate dinner on the beach around a firepit complete with fire while all bundled up in jeans and a hoodie to stay warm from the evenings' breezes and chills.

We went to California Adventure. I felt kind of dizzy and a little nauseous all day (not incredibly unusual for me the last few months) so didn't ride many of the rides. Got my m-i-l needlessly incredibly excited for a moment when I told her my symptoms and she thought I was finally pregnant (pretty sure I'm still not, haven't told her we're trying, she really really wants us to have babies as they're her most favorite thing in the world). Heard a stroller tire explode (who knew that stroller tires could be so loud?!). Spent most of the afternoon relaxing in the RV, nursing my sunburned knees while everybody else napped. Went to Mimi's Cafe for dinner, deliciously normal food (yay quiche!), went to Disneyland at night, lost (and got very upset about losing) at the Buzz Lightyear ride (I suck so very much at it), rode and really enjoyed the new Nemo submarine ride (very well done). Nemo subs were definitely worth the long line wait.

Rode home in the RV, very uncomfortable and kind of car sick most of the way, too hot all around, got home and vegged for the rest of the day.

So! Lovely brief summation of our trip. Skip the rest of the post if you don't want to read emo-tastic stuff (don't know how emo and angsty it will actually end up but I've decided to write at least a couple things down).

Point A: laundry. I have no clean clothes. I ought to get off my duff and do my laundry, but I am lazy and don't feel like it. Need to though, because the house smells funny and is very messy which brings me to Point B: need to take out the trash, do the dishes, put away our stuff from our trip, and just generally clean. The entire house smells vaguely of corn nuts, which smell I hate and despise more than any other, and it is driving me nuts. Not nuts enough to have cleaned yet, but probably I will have a cleaning frenzy soon to try and rid my lovely own house of the horrible nasty smell. Point C: funding, and the lack thereof. I am not quite sure how to go about buying lots of very cheap food that will sustain our bodies yet also be nutritious and tasty for the next couple of months until we have jobs again. I have not yet figured out how this food purchasing will work with the bill paying. Going to have to borrow moneys from relatives for rent, which is nice to be able to fall back on, but I always hate doing. Makes me feel very dependent and not at all like a grown-up person and I hate that feeling. Point D: I kind of feel sometimes like I'm treated as if I'm a highschooler who happens to not have to go to school and is married. I know I often act quite silly, like when I pretend to be a worm and squiggle through the space between my husband's arm and his belly, and I sometimes throw little obstinate fits rather similar to a small child's, yet nevertheless, I am in fact an adult and would like to be treated like one even if we aren't financially independent at the moment. Point E: I miss having girl friends. I am starting to act more like myself around our guy friends, but still feel a bit out of place. I miss college town atmosphere, going to places where there's lots of people my age. I miss having people I can watch chick flicks with while giggling and sighing and being silly and girly, or sit around reading manga with without mention of boredom or video games, or eat candy together and talk for hours about everything and nothing, or go window shopping with and admire the cute clothes of a variety of lifestyles, or talk about cooking things with. I want to move to Tempe, to little college city, and take classes and have a suburban student culture that I'm more comfortable with than the family and retired people culture where we're living now, yet at the same time I love our current house and don't want to leave just yet, things are so easy and convenient and the friends we've got live really close so hanging out is pretty easy. Point F: my garden all kind of died while we were on vacation. There's still some things that are alive, but I need to pull out and cut back a lot of plants so the few remaining ones can survive hopefully a few more weeks. It makes me sad. I love my garden, and wish it wasn't so very hot here that it kills plants really easily. Also, it's too hot to garden during the day. Point G: there's a million things I could continue with for Point G, but honestly, I think I'm done for now.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Jiggety jig

Home again, home again. I am finally home, and get to stay home for several weeks. It is very nice to be in my own home again. There are several things about being home that I am not looking forward to, however. Most on my mind today is teaching Primary. Not really looking forward to that at the moment. The class is more than just a handful, they're about five handfuls, and even with Mike switched in to teach in there with me, we've still only got four hands to reign them in with. Secondly, I do not feel like unloading our car, putting everything away, cleaning everything else in my house up, doing laundry, doing dishes, and going grocery shopping. I think I will spread them out over the course of several days so that it's not so intimidatingly huge of a task. Thirdly, it was 116 degrees yesterday, in the shade. My body needs to re-acclimate itself to the dry, dry heat, which is going to require using a bunch of moisturizer for awhile. There's enough things I enjoy about being home to more than make up for the few things I'm not looking forward to, though.

I need some girly-girly time this week. Maybe I'll take a trip to Borders and read some shoujo manga.

P.S. Lauren, sorry I never called you after I said I would at AX. My phone ran out of battery and died.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy 4th of July!

Hmmm. It's been awhile since I posted, again. Sorry. After coming home from Las Vegas, and prior to going to AX, I was crazy busy with working on my cosplay costumes trying to finish them, while being sick at the same time. Due to extreme fatigue, I didn't end up finishing everything, which is sad, as it resulted in my Mina costume kind of sucking, and my Hitomi costume didn't even get worn (never hemmed the skirt or added the white detailing on the shirt). And then, of course, I was at AX and didn't have time to post. I'm still currently on vacation in CA with Veng's parents in their RV, and won't be home 'till Saturday (I miss my home, and am ready to go back to it), but I have some time to post right now so I figured, might as well.

Happy 4th of July, everybody!

AX was fun. We didn't do a whole lot while we were there (I spent a lot of time even there trying to finish my costumes) but it was still fun. We'll have to do more if we go again though, to make it worth the money. My Sakura costume I've realized is not really very good (the shirt's the best part, and it's inaccurate due to having sleeves...the shorts turned out really good though, but the skirt sucks a lot and though the boots look fine they gave me horrible blisters). My Ryo costume I thought turned out quite well. The only thing I was missing was the blue band at the tops of the socks. The shirt ended up a little too short, and wouldn't stay tucked into the pants, and the shorts ended up way tighter than I had hoped they would be, but it all looked good, and pretty accurate, and I really enjoyed it. Quite a few people recognized it and asked to take my picture (which is always fun). I was interested by the fact that all the people who recognized me were males, though. Mina didn't get done, the shoes did not get done, and I never quite figured out how to get the ears to stay on very well so they caused a few problems. The carrots worked out really well though. I modded the costume design for the sake of modesty, and I think it turned out well, though it was inaccurate. A few people recognized Mina. I'll have to wear it again sometime (and actually finish it so that it's good). Ryo was definitely my best costume though. I thought Mike's Densha costume turned out really well too, though not as many people recognized him. I am tired of sewing for awhile and may take a break from it when we get home. Next time I cosplay I'll have to start on the costumes a LOT earlier so that I don't have any last minute crazy hectic sewing and not sleeping and being a recluse in the craft room even when there's guests over.

So now we're on vacation with Veng's parents, going to various parts of CA in their RV. It's been fun so far, we went to Raging Waters yesterday, and are going to the beach tomorrow, and Disneyland the day after. I really like this area of California, it's so pretty, and I love the humidity, and the mountains here are so interesting to me because they're so different from the Utah mountains that I'm used to or the Arizona mountains that I hardly ever can even see. The one problem is the massive amounts of pollution. We're in the San Dimas area right now so it isn't quite so horrible, but I've been coughing fairly frequently since we got here due to all the junk in the air. Other than the pollution, I definitely wouldn't mind if we ended up living around here someday. The weather's lovely (even in their "it's so hot, it's a hundred degrees!" heatwave, it's a lot nicer than the 115 degrees of dry heat that it is in Arizona right now). The vacation is nice, but I'm discovering I have a couple of beefs with staying in an RV. Number one, and the biggest one: I have no personal space. There is no space that is just mine, where my stuff and only my stuff can go, and there is nowhere that I can go for privacy or to be alone, and I really don't like sleeping on the pull-out couch (which is too small) where anybody can walk through and see me / wake me up. I sleep pretty lightly, and have been getting woken up when I don't want to be fairly frequently. This makes me rather cranky, as I like to be able to sleep when I'm sleepy, and I tend to be cranky as is whenever I'm tired. Also, with only one bathroom and only one computer, my schedule is extremely dependent on the other people also in the RV, which also tends to annoy me. Also, I'm worried about my garden (I don't know if anybody's watering it right now), and my house is a wreck and I want to clean it, and I need to go grocery shopping, and prepare my lesson for Sunday (and get the manual back first!) and we're not getting home until some unknown time on Saturday. Anyways, I think ultimately I've just had too much vacationing lately and am tired of it, even if it is likely to be fun.

Also, I miss cooking my own yummy meals.

Also, it often smells funny when you have four people and a dog all stuck in an RV all day.

Also, I'm finding I like to be able to plan things myself to do when on vacation rather than having to follow somebody else's schedule about what to do and when to do it. I think I'm to the point of considering "family vacations" to be just vacations with me and Mike where we can do things we're interested in and want to do, with a few concessions to what the other wants to do if we're not interested in it ourselves.

*sigh*

I would kind of like to just go home.

I hope you're all enjoying your holiday! Have fun watching parades and fireworks and things! Have picnics and barbeques! Play frisbee! Make it a special relaxing day!

that's all for now.