Wednesday, May 09, 2007

There's so many things I want to convey, and I can't quite think of how to say them. I type a sentence, delete it, retype it, delete it, over and over, because it doesn't do the emotion justice, and I know that the emotions are overly heightened right now anyway and so am scared of whether I actually want to say what I want to say or if I will look back on it in a few days when my hormones are normal again and wish I had said something else instead. There is a particular difficulty in expressing a lot of what I'm feeling because it involves apologizing for my faults and shortcomings, and while I think apology is a very important part of life, I don't particularly want to point out to myself my faults and shortcomings right now. Whenever I do that I get all depressed, so I try hard to not do it anymore. I know I have a lot of faults, I'm very aware of them, but I am hopeful at the moment that if you're reading this you're willing to put up with them or look past them or however you, personally, deal with other people's faults.

The main thing which I wish to get across, which I know is not coming out in a very eloquent way, is that I miss you. You are cool people, and I miss you. I haven't seen some of you in a very long time, and I still miss you. Some of you that I miss don't ever read my blog, you probably don't even know this exists, but I miss you. You were good friends. I always enjoyed hanging out with you, talking with you, playing games with you, laughing with you. I miss our friendship. I miss your quirks and oddities and all the things that make you so interesting.

There's a lot more I want to say, to apologize, to excuse myself, but I'm not going to say it, because if I think about it right now in my current emotional state I will end up disappointed in myself. So, let's leave it at that. You are missed.

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