Friday, September 29, 2006


What the crap. Nobody's going to read a crappy long entry where I complain about being lonely and depressed and crap because I've probably written a couple hundred of those by now, and I'm sure everybody's sick of it. So, you get a short post. It's always easy to tell when I'm on the verge of giving in to an evening of depression, because I start having a really hard time not swearing, and not crying, and not throwing my shoe at the wall.

Maybe people will come over tomorrow. That'd be nice. If you're reading this, and are in the general area, and don't have plans for tomorrow afternoon, and are at all interested in lunch and the second session of Conference, you're invited over. We have stuff for a sushi bar (without any actual raw fish...mostly club sandwich sort of ingredients). We have stuff for other food. I will clean the apartment and we will concoct yummy things, and we would love to have people come eat and hang out and then watch Conference on our projector with us. So, if you want to come, you can call me (nine seven one four five eight five) or email me (krazyk at gmail dot com) or reply to this post, which I will try hard to check after the morning session tomorrow, and then I can tell you where we live and how to get here and where to park and other useful information.

Paragraphless free-write

I just got ready really fast so I'd have some time to write in here, though I'm not going to have nearly as much time as I'd like because I have to leave for work in about fifteen minutes, so I may have to do this again later sometime soon.

I've been meaning to make cookies and go take them to people for a while now (since Sunday) and I even made the cookie dough, but it had some issues (too dry, and my chocolate chips had melted and resolidified, so I had to smash them apart, and there was a lot of cocoa powder which turned the cookie dough all brown so it looks like crap now) and so instead I have been eating the cookie dough all week (it tastes okay, not great, I will have to try again sometime soon). I made a souffle yesterday for the first time ever, and it turned out pretty good, though I didn't manage to beat the egg whites enough so it wasn't as fluffy as it ought to have been, but it tasted good, and I was proud because I made a souffle, and it reminded me of that one movie (with Audrey Hepburn?) where the girl goes to souffle school and masters the art of souffle making after many failures (and her being gone gives the boy time to realize he's in love with her, or whatever, but it's not the boy that she's in love with...they made a remake of it a few years ago where the girl goes to photography school or something in France instead of souffle school and that made me want to learn to be a photographer but anyways) I write entirely too many parantheticals. But hey, this is a free-write, so who cares? So the reason I've wanted to make cookies for people is because a) I want some cookies to eat, and homemade ones are the best, and b) I want an excuse to visit people. My social life has not been great recently (I know, I've complained about it a lot), and before it was because everybody else was busy and I had no car and couldn't drive to go hang out with them, and now it's because I'm too busy. I'm enjoying being busy, but I really wish I had time to go hang out with my friends more often, mostly my female friends, because a girl has to have time to talk to fellow girls, and I haven't been getting that time lately, and though I've made efforts to talk to people at work and in my classes, it's really not the same as actual friendships where I can talk about whatever and not feel totally stupid. So, I miss hanging out with people. My classes are going really well, though. I'm almost done with my head sculpture. Which is good, because it's due on Tuesday. So I brought him home to work on him some more, but that will require buying a couple of tools, which I want anyway, so I guess that's fine, but it's money I will have to spend that I was hoping to not have to spend, because we're trying really hard to keep a little bit of savings on hand constantly. We're doing really well, overall, compared to most of the other newly-married people I know, I guess, but I still worry about money a lot and feel like I should worry about it more and not as much at the same time. I am currently craving cinnamon rolls which means I will probably buy some at the store tonight when we go grocery shopping, and will probably eat more cookie dough for breakfast, neither of which are conducive to our plan lately to try to eat healthy (and exercise, we were both too tired this morning to get up early enough for our walk, so I've insisted that we go on a walk after I get home from work instead). I have definitely not gotten enough sleep or exercise lately. I am missing eating spinach because of the whole E. coli thing, I have read about six articles about it at work and it is making me crave spinach, partially because I made really good tortilla tuna spinach rolls last week and I want to repeat it. Hopefully my Totoro miny bento box inner container things will arrive soon, they were shipped a couple days ago, and I am excited about them. I still need to deposit my paycheck, I think I will do that Saturday. General Conference is this weekend, which will be good, but I'm so generally sleep deprived that I'm afraid I will fall asleep during it, or not pay much attention. Now I'm thinking about when I slept over at Jill's for General Conference, and had the worst cramps of my whole entire life, and she gave me some good drugs which made me stop crying in major pain, but I was so completely out of it the next morning that I got nothing out of Conference. And that's making me think about my total lack of a social life lately. It's sad, because there's lots of people that I could hang out with if I only had the time. But I'm really enjoying my sculpture class, and it's totally worth it to me to be taking it, because it's getting my hopes all up again about my creative endeavours and their worthwhileness. The head is turning out really cool. We have named him Fred "the hat man" Bajanwa. He has ears now, and the top of his head is made, it just needs to be attached. Then all that will be left will be making him a stand to sit on (can a head really sit on anything?) and I will have a very cool hat rack. It will be able to hold five hats. I will probably put my coolest favoritest wear-the-most-often hats on him. I may have to cycle through my hats though. I have too many of them. I've been thinking lately that I have too many of a lot of things and I need to cull my possessions/collections, throw out a lot of crap, finally get around to making cool stuff out of the crap I keep, etc, etc. I need a drill, I think, then I could drill holes in all of my massive penny collection and rivet them onto crap, and make stuff out of them, because really it's pointless to have $20 worth of pennies just sitting in a container that I never do anything with. I think that's about all the time I have left for the free write, and really, it's not that much different from my normal blog entries lately. I wish I had time for a really long one where I could talk about all sorts of crap, because that's why my blog entries have been long lately, is because I want to talk to people about all sorts of crap, because I miss that communication, but maybe I'm just making reasons up, because I tend to do that when I'm depressed, or in pre-depression states, and I am pretty sure I'm in a pre-major-depressive-episode state right now, and I've been doing a good job of holding it off, but if I start listing all the reasons I can think of as to why I feel crappy so often then it will probably set it off, and I know ultimately the real reason why I've been feeling so crappy so often lately is because my body and brain are tryin to be all depressed again, my hormones and brain chemicals are all out of whack, and sure, my environment contributes to it, but ultimately I'd like to treat it as an illness and not something that is somehow my fault for not getting out and socializing enough, or not eating perfectly, or not always getting enough sleep, or whatever, which is what I like to call "making reasons up" no matter how true they may seem to me at the time they're not really the ultimate reason why I'm feeling bad. Anyways, I'm actually not feeling to bad right now, mainly because of Freddie, and how nicely he's doing, and how excited I am to finish him and show him off to people (you have to be egotistical about your work if you are an artist). I really have to go now or I will be late to work though, so I will have to cross-post this in Xanga and Blogger later because I really just don't have time right now. Apologies to all the people who read Xanga and Blogger, because you will get this lovely post quite delayed.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

It's too early...

Well, I was entirely planning on going back to bed for an hour after sending Veng off to work this morning (got up to make him a lunch at the crazy hour of 5:30, I will never know how he manages to get up that early twice a week, despite doing it myself for the purpose of lunches and goodbyes, but I almost always go back to bed afterwards). But I turned on my computer and then, you know how it goes, got all caught up in reading peoples' blogs, and my webcomics, and explored a couple new peoples' blogs, and so on and so forth and now I have no time for additional sleep if I wish to not be late to work later (and of course, I wish to not be late to work later, because if I am late to work I must stay late at work to make up for it, and I'd rather come home on time and eat food and take a nap before class). In all likelihood, I will be very close to falling asleep while driving home from class tonight and it will require several ginger candies, some loud music, and some cold, cold air to keep me awake. (I'm getting annoyed by my own paranthetical tangents at this point, but felt like continuing with them for at least one more.)

My hands smell like oranges, indubitably due to the fact that I peeled one earlier. I noticed last week, after peeling and slicing some carrots for dinner one day, that they left an orange residue all over my hands that was worse than cheetos (the orange on my hands from cheetos is always limited to two or three fingers because I'm very careful about eating them, and it always gets licked off afterwards). Luckily, I had some wipes in the car (I didn't notice my hands were orange-colored until well on my way towards class) and so was able to clean up and avoid unusual looks during sculpture.

The head I'm sculpting in that class is turning out really well. I have a couple ideas I'm going to try to implement tonight along with attaching the last major peice of sheet metal. Originally, my idea was to make a head out of the sheet metal that I could later put on a pole/stand/thing and turn into a hat/coat rack by adding some arms (and how cool would it be to have a hat/coat rack that had a head on it onto which you could place your hat?). But the head that I am making will be much too large for any of my hats to fit on it (we had to make our projects as big as possible with the sheet metal provided). So I think I am going to add a couple of posts (of rolled sheet metal) sticking out of the bridge of the head (I don't know what it's actually called, but the area that goes over the top of your head from one ear to the other). The idea is that they will look slightly like very stylized hair (the whole thing is already very stylized). And then they will have small rounded discs on top of them. And onto each of those, I will be able to place a hat. And then I can make a stand for the whole thing (sometime in the future) with many arms (with hands in different poses) and it will be the bestest hat/coat rack ever (and a pretty cool sculpture to boot). I still want to make a Spock coat-rack someday, but I will have to improve my layout and design skills first. With the current project, I roughly sketched out approximately how I wanted to cut the metal with a sharpie, and then started cutting, adjusting as I went, and it's turned out pretty well, but to make it look like a specific person I would have to do a lot more geometrical planning before-hand. That reminds me, I need to remember to put ears on the current project head before I finish the bridge and close it up.

Drawing class was not too bad last night. We're working on perspective, which I already know pretty well and so it's pretty easy. Unfortunately, my constant plague of my vertical lines slowly starting to slant more and more caught me again yesterday, and I had to erase about half of my drawing and am still trying to fix it so that my verticals will all be vertical instead of slight diagonals.

It's almost time for me to register for classes for next semester. I wish I knew what we'll be doing next semester already. I'd like to finish out this year of pre-art classes and do the whole portfolio-submission thing to see if I could get into the program, but we have no idea where we'll be next year or what we'll be doing, which is fine, it just makes my continued schooling more complicated. The need to drop out for awhile is always just over the edge, always a possibility, which is also fine, I already have a degree and am pursuing this one because I want to, and because I enjoy it, but I don't need it. Sometimes though I just want to fast-forward a couple of years and see where we'll be and what we'll be up to and what our lives will consist of.

Sometime next week, our car will pass the 2,000 mile mark. It amazes me that I've managed to put so many miles on it in such a short time (though it's not really surprising, since I am driving to Salt Lake and back approximately five times a week). It seems rather momentous.

Winter is well on its way, and its becoming increasingly obvious as my skin becomes more and more dried-out. I need to invest in some moisturizing body-wash again so that I don't end up itchy and cracky and flakey all winter. You'd think I could just get into the habit of using lotion regularly, but it's really so much easier to just take care of all my daily moisturizing in the shower.

We've started getting up early in the mornings (on the days when Veng doesn't leave insanely early for work) for the purpose of exercising together by taking a nice walk around Wymount/the temple/wherever else we feel like going. It feels good to get a little bit of exercise again, and it's lovely having some time where neither of us has anything else to do other than talk to each other. I think it'll be a good habit, if we can keep it up. We will probably have to find some other morning exercise thing to do once it starts snowing, though.

I have also started preparing bento lunches on occasion (don't know if I've mentioned that yet). The ones I've made so far have turned out really well. I took pictures to post up later. It's not to an every-day thing yet, there are still plenty of days where I just stuff some left-overs in a tupperware, or let Veng fend for himself for lunch, but it's another habit I'm trying to get into, and I think it will help us eat healthier, which will lead to feeling better.

I have been feeling mostly better the past couple days. I think the cold is completely gone now, and I'm just back to normal allergies. It hasn't been too bad at home, but there's always a good amount of particulates in the air in the art building at the U due to a variety of things, which are a 'trigger' for my allergies (though there's nothing in the air there that I'm actually allergic to generally, unless there's a lot more dust mites there than I suspect there are). Work, though, has been the worst so far. I don't know if there's a lot of dust there or what, but I'm much more likely to sneeze there than I am at home. I think it's because they're doing some work on fixing up the building.

I've seen almost all of my friends who are also employed there during my working hours now. I see Decemberist almost every day as he leaves to go home at about the same time that I am in the break room for lunch. I've randomly seen YeldarbNaed a couple of times now, and I finally saw milk11 the other day when she was talking with some lady in the hallway which is open to the room that I work in. The room I'm in (which is a different room from the one they're all in) is currently kind of boring. I need to bring in some things to liven up my desk so that it's more interesting.

Time to go get ready!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

We are still sick

We are still sick, but we have been productive anyway! This morning was no good, but since then things have improved (and we did a lot yesterday). Vengance has been an absolute sweetheart. Thank you very much for all you've done all weekend, love.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Rainy days are here again

And I really wish I could enjoy it on the couch, with a mug of hot cocoa (and marshmallows!) and some of my childrens' books. But there is work, and then there is homework, and then there is class, and then it's bedtime. And I don't get to see Veng again today until bedtime, which is sad. I want to go back to sleep. I really like being employed and taking classes, don't get me wrong. Darn cold needs to go away. Go away, go away, go away, Mr. Cold. Does anybody know an anti-cold dance?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Me class was cancelled, due to me teacher takin' ill (perhaps he has what I have), and thar was no n'sway of findin' out about it until I had reached me port of the Salty Lake, so I dropped off me homework, turned th' boat around, and floated on back home. I ought to be doin' me laundry, but I'm completely tuckered out and will probably be nappin' near Davy Jones for a while tonight.

Accordin' to me LiveJournal account, this'll be posted to my Captain's log. They've changed their logo fer the day, too. Ships ahoy, thar be a boat. I'm waitin' fer the day when Google joins th' fun.

And that's about all I can take of talking like a pirate with this blasted cold.

Monday, September 18, 2006


It was Mike's birthday yesterday. Happy 22nd birthday, love! If anybody feels like showering him with presents, or parties, or food, I'm sure he'd love it. ;)

Unfortunately, we have been sick all weekend with bad colds. So we didn't really do much to celebrate. I am staying home from work today to try and get some extra sleep so that I can feel decent tomorrow for work and class. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to class tonight or not. Making it all worse is that I'm also moon-sick right now too. So, it's overall pretty miserable.

Drawing class is going alright. I'm supposed to do a self-portrait for my homework. I've decided I don't want to go into drawing and painting for my major (if I make it into the program) because I don't really enjoy drawing very much (though I love painting). I'm getting a lot better at drawing though. I drew my little brother's shoe yesterday so my mom can make an applique of it for his graduation quilt (she makes everybody a quilt for graduating from high school). He did track and cross-country all through high school, and is now in a jogging class, and the Running Club at the Y, so thus the shoe on the quilt. My drawing of it turned out quite spiffy, if I do say so myself.

Speaking of spiffy, we're working with sheet metal in sculpture now, and I am absolutely loving it. The first part of our project was to do sixteen 4"x4" squares, each with a different sort of 'texture' (I use the phrase texture loosely here, since some of the examples he showed us and some of the squares I made were not so much differently textured as they were folded up a certain way, which I guess in a broad perspective can be a all depends on your definition, I suppose). I had lots of fun making mine. I will have to take a photo of them and put it up on here so everybody can admire my creative textures. I got to fold metal with pliers, fold metal with a huge metal-folding machine, hammer metal on an anvil, hammer metal on carpet over wire, sew wire through metal (quite hard), weave a metal basket, cut metal with metal scissors, cut metal with a giant clipper, cut metal with a huge metal guillotine-ish thing, punch holes in metal with a metal hole-puncher, rivet metal with a metal riveter, spot-weld metal together, make divets in the metal with the hole-puncher, sand the metal with an electric sander, sand the metal with normal sandpaper, scratch the metal with a nail, and probably some other things too. All of this is stuff that I love doing, I am finding out. The hole-puncher and riveter were especially fun. I was surprised by how different metal rivets are from rivets for fabric. Sanding the metal gives it a really cool shiny-yet-matte finish that looks awesome in the light. The next part of the project is to make three maquettes (small mock-ups) out of paper of what we want to do our final sheet-metal project of. And then we get to do the sheet-metal version of one of them, except make it approximately four times larger than our maquettes. I'm excited. I think I'm going to do a head. But I'm starting to think now that maybe it would be fun to make a Totoro, but it'd probably be easier to make a head.

I'm just in love with all things Totoro right now. They're so freaking adorable. Super-cute bento boxes. Awwwwww-inspiring phone straps. Hoodies that make me want to burst into giggles. Aprons that I'm sorely tempted to make myself. So much merchandise that I want! I'm being good and not spending my money on them right now though. But I want them soooooo much, it's ridiculous. So cute. So very, very cute. I think next time someone asks me what my favorite movie is, I will say "My Neighbor Totoro" (though it probably won't be my favorite movie for forever, it's definitely my favorite movie of the moment). So cute. Maybe I will watch it again today after sleeping some more and working on my homework. I'm so happy we own it. Our US-released Miyazaki/Ghibli collection is almost complete now. We are still lacking Pom Poko, The Cat Returns, and Porco Rosso (but we've seen Porco Rosso, so we'll probably end up getting it last out of all of them). And they still haven't released a couple that I really really want. Such good movies. I'm very excited to show them to our future children. It will be interesting to see which ones they like the best, as compared to which ones I like the best.

Anyways, I should eat some food and take some medicine and work on homework and then take a nap and then finish homework and then do laundry and then eat again then sleep again and whatever else I have time for. So, adios.

P.S. I started playing Mario 64 on Saturday and it is way more fun than I ever thought it would be. Good game. I recommend it. And I finally got to the point of seeing the credits in Band Brothers, and am now to the Hard level of using the shoulder buttons all the time, which is causing me to progress very, very slowly.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Strange imaginings

It's been a weird couple of days. Not because anything weird has been happening in my life, really, it's more what's been happening while I've been asleep. Three nights ago, I had a bizarre dream. It was kind of like Jumanji. A group of close friends (strangely, nobody that I actually know in real life) and I went for a sleepover at this large eccentric house. And the house had weird things built into it to happen if you did certain stuff, which we managed to do. So, we basically pulled the trigger, and then all these 'trials' started appearing. The first, if I remember right, was a large group of rainbow-pastel-colored soot gremlins (like the ones in My Neighbor Totoro and Spirited Away), where if you smashed them, all the little pieces that fell down turned into more and more of them, and they threatened to smother us. So we ran away, and escaped them pretty easily, but parts of the house were off-limits now because that's where they were. Then, there was a group of wild dogs that wanted to eat us. I think we lost a member to them. The rest of us locked ourselves into this large room. We discussed things, and decided that the small long-haired bouncy lap-dog that somebody had brought with them had a good chance of fighting the wild dogs (those little things can be ferocious when it comes to defending their territory). So we opened the door, and pushed the little dog out, and it ran away yipping, and we waited a few minutes, and then we went outside (logically, in the dream, the dogs and soot gremlins would remain confined to the house because that's where they had appeared).

Then the next thing showed up. It was a very large swarm of bees. One of the girls that was with us was allergic to bees, and the rest of us didn't really want to get stung, so we hid from them in the pool (because, in the dream, bees didn't like pool water). Unfortunately, it was a small pool, a very, very small pool, and with all of us in there, the water level was not quite high enough to cover us completely. So one of the girls ran out and grabbed one of those lawn sprinklers that attaches to a hose and has a line of holes in it that generally waves back and forth, but you can set some of them to stay at one angle, and she set it so it was going over the pool to help keep the bees away. So we hid in there, managing to hold our breath for ridiculously long amounts of time. The bees finally started dispersing, and that's when the aliens showed up.

The aliens looked like humans, but we knew they were aliens. The first one we saw, moved the sprinkler, exposing random bits of us not covered by the water to the bees. We thought this was cruel, since there was still the girl that was allergic to the bees. But the aliens didn't seem any worse than particularly vicious people, so we figured they wouldn't be any harder to deal with than the rest of the stuff that had happened. Until they let loose the killer monkeys. The monkeys were varying sizes, some medium-sized, and some very small. I don't recall that they had tails, so they were probably technically some other sort of primate, but hey, it was my dream, and in the dream they were labelled as monkeys. They were all varying shades of gray and black and white, and they all had very very long claws on each of their fingers (like Totoro). Unlike Totoro, however, these monkeys' greatest desire seemed to be to hop on your shoulder, and poke you slightly in the neck with one of their claws, which would then cause you to die mostly instantly. A couple monkeys took down a couple of my comrades, and a swarm of tiny monkeys took down another. The rest of the group of us started scattering trying to get away from the monkeys, and the aliens started hunting them down. I ran into the house, into a room with some of the remaining of the original group, and we started having a meeting. Then, half of my 'friends' revealed themselves as actually being aliens who had made themselves look just like us so they could blend into human society until they had replaced enough people that they could take over. So then they really started killing everybody (very bloodless, everybody just instantly keeled over when they died).

One of the aliens, however, had been masquerading as one of my friends the entire time, and had heard my tale of tragic woe about an old jerk of a boyfriend that I'd had (Vengance didn't exist in this dream), and it reminded her of a bad relationship she'd been in, and so she took pity on me and decided to help me escape the other aliens. So she handed me this pouch and helped me get out of the room. I ran down the halls and opened the pouch at the same time, and inside I saw a series of small rolled-up paper notes. I pulled out the first one, and it told me to grab a couple of bags of ice from the freezer, so I ran through the kitchen and grabbed all the ice. The second note told me about a specific barrel that I could hide in, so I found the barrel, and climbed in, and put the ice around me, and covered myself up with pillows so the aliens that were in hot pursuit couldn't see me through the top of the barrel. The ice served the purpose of hiding me from the aliens' heat-seeking goggles or whatever that they had.

I was just starting to read the third note while in the barrel, thinking about how writing me a series of little detailed rolled-up notes was possibly the stupidest way of helping me escape that I could think of, and about how long it was taking to unroll and read each note, when the alarm went off, and I woke up.

I only stayed awake long enough to wish Veng goodbye as he was off to work, and then I went back to sleep for awhile (he leaves really, really early on Tuesdays and Thursdays). Once asleep, I had another dream. In this dream I was a student at a magical university. Except there was only one teacher, and about six other students when I got there. The professor led all of us students to the mall, where we were going to pick up the other half of the student body, which consisted of aliens (their drop-off point from their ship was the mall, apparently). So, we got there, and started approaching the drop-off/pick-up point, when one of the human students pointed out that, along with the normal nice aliens, there were two aliens of the vicious killing variety standing there in the group that was waiting for us. Several of us then chided the professor on not having more security in a situation like this. And then the vicious killer aliens got hungry all of a sudden or something, and used their ridiculously powerful legs to jump up really high, and then used their long claws to kill their fellow alien-students when they came back down. One of the killer aliens was extremely tall and skinny, and the other was normal-sized. The normal-sized one was the meaner of the two. All of the aliens looked like normal humans (except for the claws on the two killer aliens, and the fact that one of them was ridiculously tall). The killer aliens also started killing random mall-folk. So the professor and the human students all made a break for the elevator, thinking that if the killer aliens followed us, the thick metal elevator doors would stop them before they could kill us. The elevator had one central room with large wide sliding doors, and most of the human students ran for that. But the elevator also had at least two small side-rooms attached to the central room, and the side rooms had their own small skinny doors. The professor and I and one of the other students ran into one of these, and hit the door closed button (because with three people, the small elevator room was very full), and hoped that the other students had managed to get the main elevator doors closed before the killer aliens caught up to them.

The next scene in the dream, we were all back in the dormitory/school. The professor was chiding the killer aliens, and telling them how they couldn't just go around killing people randomly here on Earth, and so on and so forth. As he was talking, he led us through the twisty hallway of the dingy dormitory, and dropped each of the human students off at their rooms (all the human students had made it, and the two killer aliens were there, but none of the other aliens had survived, which was just as well, because there weren't enough rooms for them). He dropped the killer aliens off at their rooms, too. He led me to my room last (it was at the end of the hall). It was incredibly small, with just enough room inside for a cot and a foot or two of space between the door and the cot (just enough space for the door to open into the room). It was also incredibly dingy and dirty. Once inside, I pushed the cot against the door, hoping it would help keep the killer aliens out if they decided to go on a rampage during the night, and set about trying to figure out how the locks on my door worked. Someone pushed against the door, which slid the cot back a few inches across the floor, and I was relieved to see a human hand poke through the crack. It was the professor, and he showed me how the main door lock was supposed to work. He was as surprised and frustrated as I was that it wouldn't catch properly because the door didn't hang straight. While he was trying to fiddle with it (he had been going around showing each of the human students how to lock their doors so we could be safe during the night while he was asleep), I noticed that there was a key-hole in the doorframe that was normally covered up by the closed door. I happened to have a key that was supposed to go to one of the locks in the door (but that lock, too, had been broken when I tried it). So I took the key, and put it in the keyhole in the doorframe, and turned it, and a tiny door opened up, showing a long dark flight of stairs. This surprised both the professor and I, and I asked him if I could hide down there for the night since my door lock didn't work. He agreed that it was probably the safest place for me. So, I went through the door (which magically was big enough for me to fit through just long enough for me to fit through it, after which it was once again the width of the door frame) and started down the stairs. And then I woke up again.

So, two exceedingly odd dreams. One of the oddest things about them to me, though, was how extremely dispassionate they both were. Nobody's death really mattered in either of them. The goal was to stay alive myself, and as long as I was accomplishing that, nothing else really mattered. It was if I knew, throughout both dreams, that none of it was real at all, and so it didn't matter if these dream-people died, because they didn't really exist.

The night after that I was apparently stressed about making sure Veng got up on time for class, and so woke up at 2 in the morning, convinced that it was 7:30 and we had slept through the alarm and he needed to wake up. It was too dark for me to see my watch, so I woke him up and asked him what time it was, and was rather surprised to be told it was 2 AM. So we both went back to sleep. I managed to wake up approximately once every hour for the rest of the night, though I didn't wake Veng up again, but rather dug my clock out from under the pile of clothes on my side of the bed to look at the time.

Last night, I determined that I was going to wake up a little earlier than Veng this morning so that I could make him a decent lunch before he went to work. So I snagged his alarm, and reset it for half-an-hour earlier than it was set for, and put it on my side of the bed, so that when it went off, I could reset it back to its later time so he wouldn't have to get up early. Then, starting at one in the morning, I managed to wake up every hour, convinced it was time to get up, until I looked at the clock and verified that there were still several hours to go. Finally, after one of my clock checkings, Veng woke up a bit and asked me what time it was. I told him, and he shot out of bed because he was supposed to be at work in 20 minutes. The alarm had been set an hour too late when I had grabbed it, and I had assumed that it was set for the right time and he had to be to work after that time, and I managed to be thoroughly wrong on both counts. So I didn't get to make him the lunch I had planned out after all, and I decided I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep, so here I am, posting on my blog before 7 in the morning.

With all this weird stuff going on at night, it's really no surprise to me that I have been so tired lately when awake. I also attribute my tiredness to the cold/allergies I seem to be suffering from, and the stress I've been under with work and classes and being way behind on house-work and not having enough food to eat, and having extremely poor posture during my long classes each night (they have stools to sit on, which means I'm hunching over all during class while working on my projects). The bad posture and the stress make my shoulders hurt, which makes it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep in, which contributes even more to not sleeping well, which makes me more tired the next day. It's a vicious little circle. I'm glad tomorrow's Friday. The weekend will be very busy catching up on housework, and I'm going to try implementing a plan to cook meals for the whole week ahead of time so that we have non-instant-frozen-food to eat again, but hopefully getting all of that done will relieve some of my stress for next week. With all of the stress, and the poor sleep, and the not having sufficient time for cooking and cleaning, it's been hard to keep myself from getting pretty depressed. Which has been making me even more stressed, because I certainly don't want to fall into a constant depression again. I need to get a good schedule worked out for getting everything done, and then it should all work out pretty much perfectly.

Congratulations if you've made it to the bottom of this extremely long post.

Monday, September 11, 2006

I'm sleepy

'twas a dark and stormy weekend...

And, that's where the mystery ends, for I will now enlighten you all as to the events of my weekend! Hoorah!

Friday we went over to a couple's apartment in our ward for dinner and games. We played this great kids game that has penguins and ice floes (flows?) and a polar bear (so...educationally inaccurate, but fun nonetheless). I came in second. We played Sorry, and I lost, soundly (darn you Veng and knocking me back to Start every single stinking time I got out! ;) ). We played what they claimed to be the original version of Scum, and I lost for most of it, but ended up doing alright at the end. And the night ended, and we borrowed two Sean Connery movies. Yay.

Saturday was interesting. I managed, somehow or other, to end up feeling pretty depressed for a good portion of the day. Finally cheered up a little, and went to the Quark planning meeting with Veng, and then to a birthday party which ended up being quite fun (sorry for the exceedingly lame present, Decemberist). We got home from that, and I thought it was a lot earlier than it actually was, and so I kept Veng up for a couple more hours talking to him, until he finally pointed out that it was almost 2 in the morning. So we set the alarm and went to sleep.

Unfortunately, we forgot to actually turn the alarm on, so we slept through Regional Conference on Sunday, which is too bad, since I heard President Monson was pretty entertaining. I made Tex-Mex chicken wraps, which turned out delicious. I will have to post the recipe up on my ... Recipe Blog! Speaking of which, I will be doing a bit more research into copyrights and such on recipes, which may end up changing the format of said blog quite a bit in the near future (hopefully). After eating, we watched the movie First Knight, which, frankly, I thought was an awful rendition of part of the Arthurian Legend (overall, I think it's main problem was just sucky storytelling). Then we went up to my parents' house and ate again (hooray). And then we came home, and we watched My Neighbor Totoro (which finally arrived in the mail). It was the first time I've seen it, and I loved it. I was giggling throughout the entire movie. I want to have soot gremlins in my house, too (I think if you watch this movie before Spirited Away, Spirited Away will end up making a lot more sense). I think it would be fun to make a mobile of them.

So, we finished the movie, and went to sleep, and we both woke up on time this morning, yay! And now it's time to go get ready for work, and then class.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Rain, rain, come and stay

It's raining, and my apartment smells vaguely of waffles (for apparently no reason at all). Nice way to wake up. I'll start getting ready for work soon. It's going well, though training is not the most interesting of things to sit through. The other 7 people that got hired with me are an interesting mix of personalities. I think they're all several years younger than me. A couple, at least, are straight out of high school. It makes me feel slightly overqualified, and old. But, it's going well, and I think I'll enjoy it once we actually start being able to work.

It being Friday, I have no class tonight, which is really nice. The fates have been conspiring against me this week to make me late to class. Monday, of course, there was no class. On Tuesday, there were a couple accidents. On Wednesday, a large cement mixer fell off the cement truck that was carrying it, and spilled cement all over the freeway. Yesterday, there was a bus that ran into a motorcycle, in addition to which I almost ran out of gas. (The car is getting great gas mileage so far...approximately 33 miles to the gallon.) I have also had the misfortune of managing to injure myself repeatedly working on our most recent sculpture project (the garbage relief, which was then reproduced in white paper). I burned approximately five of my fingers either on my hot glue gun, or on hot glue. I snipped one of my fingers with my scissors. I managed, using those same scissors, to pinch another one, resulting in a small blood blister. Our next project is sheet metal, and I won't be taking any chances. I will be using some nice leather work gloves. Then my hands should be happy.

I need to work on going to bed earlier, so that I can wake up early and prepare lunches and dinners so that we have more available to eat than rice and frozen burritos. Maybe I'll make a couple things this weekend and refrigerate them.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Tuition for the semester is paid. Hooray. Now I have to manage to stick it out in my sculpture class until we get past this project (which I've decided I'm sick of). That shouldn't be too bad though, we'll be done with it on Thursday and then we're moving on to sculptures with sheet metal, which I'm really excited about. Drawing is going well, we learned about facial relationships and proportions, which has improved everybody's drawings of everybody else. I have a really hard time modelling for 20 minutes at a time while sitting on a stool, though.

The new car is wonderful, and we are both still loving it. I need to burn some CDs to put in it.

We went grocery shopping yesterday, so we finally have food again. Hooray! I need to start a recipe blog, I think, so I can keep track of everything I've made that's any good.

Veng's parents were in town for the weekend. It was lovely seeing them again. I got a couple new shirts and some nice smelling lotion when I went shopping with my mother-in-law (all for cheap, though I didn't pay for them anyways, but cheap is always nice). They'll be nice for the coming cool weather (here's hoping, as I always do, that fall will last for a nice long time).

Sunday was a bit hectic. Church changed from 2pm to 8am, so I was worried about getting there on time. The alarm didn't go off, and we woke up at 7:20. Then, the toilet overflowed, so I not only had to plunge it, but also had to mop up the floor. Blech. Luckily, I have the mad toilet plunging skillz, and so the plunging part went pretty fast. Veng left early so he could go make sure all the chairs were set up. I got there just barely on time, and was able to flip through the hymnbook really quick to see what we were singing based on the program, before getting up to lead the opening song (which, along with the closing song, I had never sung before, which made it a bit hard). Hopefully I'll get a list of the songs for the month soon, so that I can be more prepared next week. After church, we relaxed for awhile (we get out so early! It's hard to think of things to do for the rest of the day), then went and drove around with Veng's parents for awhile and looked at houses in the tree streets, Indian Hills, and up by Timpanogos High, just for fun. I got pretty car-sick (there's some windy roads in there). (I just barely realized that wind (as in twisty) is spelled exactly the same as wind (as in lots of moving air) which surprised me as I haven't ever thought of that before.)

Friday night we went out to eat with Veng's parents at DeMae restaurant (on Center Street in Provo, with the big Tuesday Sushi Specials sign in the window). Veng got some great sushi, and I got a delicious pot of udon that had some chicken and green onions mixed in it, and some tempura onions and shrimp on top of it, and half a hard-boiled egg. And we shared ginger ice-cream (which is delicious plain, but I highly recommend the tempura version of it there, it's really good). On Saturday night, we went to Tucano's Brazilian Grill, and had lots of delicious meats. My favorites were the tri-tip steak, the mango-glazed cod, and of course, the parmesan grilled veggies, and my all-time favorite, the grilled pineapple. Lots of tasty food.

Yesterday, we went to the two stores we know of in Provo that have Asian food imports. I can't remember the name of the new one we went to (new meaning we haven't ever been there before). They had lots and lots of sauces, and pretty cheap sushi rice, and hard ginger candies which I was excited to find, as I don't like soft ginger candies, and I hear ginger candies are great for nausea, so next time I'm going on a twisty road I can pop one of those in my mouth and hopefully avoid all the queasiness. They taste pretty good, too. At the other store, Chao's (on University Avenue, between Center Street and 100 North, on the West side of the road) we got some nice cheap sweet chili sauce (which is absolutely delicious on plain rice), and a red bean bun for Veng to try (he didn't mind the texture like I do), and some of those jelly/jello/gelatinous cups in various flavors like the ones I'd tried in Seattle (many thanks to DBZroxy who introduced me to them). Someday I will find a place that carries mochi ice-cream balls, and my quest to find places locally that sell things that I'd previously only had in Seattle will be complete.

Last night we had the wonderful opportunity to attend Master Fob's Blog Party. We had a lot of fun. There was lots of tasty food, and some hilarious conversations, and I got to see some people that I haven't seen in a while, which was great. It was all-around a fabulous end to a lovely Labor Day.

Work starts tomorrow, so I have lots to do today involving cleaning and cooking and finding out info. about the car and so forth. In light of all the chores to do today, I'm particularly appreciative of the great day off that yesterday was. The next day off we get at this point is Thanksgiving, which seems extremely far away. It will probably all go pretty fast though, now that we're both back in school and working.

And now, it's time to update my iPod and burn some CDs! Yay!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

I feel so grown up.

I (by which I mean we, but I will probably get to drive it the most) am now the proud owner of, no, not a scooter, but a 4-door vehicle. Due to an extremely generous financing offer from some dearly loved people we know, we went from kind of wanting a scooter on Thursday morning to buying a 2007 Toyota Corolla S (the S stands for Sport) today, in a lovely blue color. It's a very nice car, it should get pretty darn good gas mileage, it's comfortable, I can reach the pedals without my knees hitting the steering wheel (that's a first for me), it drives great, it stops smoothly, it's a little loud when accelerating fast, and there's a bit of windnoise from one of the mirrors, the glove compartment is practically perfect, there's a CD player and a radio, and alloy wheels, and ABS, and some random nifty features, and 5 seatbelts with back seats that you can actually climb into comfortably and aren't too bad leg-room wise, even for relatively tall people (big change from the truck). So we can give people rides now without them being horribly uncomfortable and stuff. :) All that's left is to figure out our budget so we can make our (admittedly small) agreed-upon monthly payments. And still have food to eat. You know how it goes. We'll figure it out somehow. Getting to work and class will certainly be much less complicated than I was expecting it to be this week. And next week. And for the next 3-5 years. I'm happy, even if car purchasing is an annoying hassle of a process. And Toyotas seem like pretty reliable cars. So it'll be good.

Pictures soon.